The disagreements were more than just philosophical; they became

The disagreements were more than just philosophical; they became clashes of personality. “I think that he likes people to jump when he says jump,” Raskin once said. “I felt that he was untrustworthy, and that he does not take kindly

to being found wanting. He doesn’t seem to like people who see him without a halo.” Jobs was equally dismissive of Raskin. “Jef was really pompous,” he said. “He didn’t know much about interfaces. So I decided to nab some of his people who were really good, like Atkinson, bring in some of my own, take the thing over and build a less expensive Lisa, not some piece of junk.”

“Ron was an amazing guy,” said Jobs. “He started companies.

I had never met anybody like that.” He proposed to Wayne

that they go into business together; Jobs said he could borrow

$50,000, and they could design and market a slot machine.

But Wayne had already been burned in business, so he declined.

“I said that was the quickest way to lose $50,000,” Wayne recalled,

“but I admired the fact that he had a burning drive to start his own business.”

One weekend Jobs was visiting Wayne at his apartment, engaging as they

often did in philosophical discussions, when Wayne said that there was

something he needed to tell him. “Yeah, I think I know what it is,”

Jobs replied. “I think you like men.” Wayne said yes. “It was my

first encounter with someone who I knew was gay,” Jobs recalled.

“He planted the right perspective of it for me.” Jobs grilled him:

“When you see a beautiful woman, what do you feel?” Wayne replied,

“It’s like when you look at a beautiful horse. You can appreciate it, but you

don’t want to sleep with it. You appreciate beauty for what it is.”

Wayne said that it is a testament to Jobs that he felt like revealing this to

him. “Nobody at Atari knew, and I could count on my toes and fingers

the number of people I told in my whole life. But I guess it just felt right to

tell him, that he would understand, and it didn’t have any effect on our relationship.”

India

One reason Jobs was eager to make some money in early 1974 was that

Robert Friedland, who had gone to India the summer before, was urging

him to take his own spiritual journey there. Friedland had studied in India with

Neem Karoli Baba (Maharaj-ji), who had been the guru to much of the sixties

hippie movement. Jobs decided he should do the same, and he recruited

Daniel Kottke to go with him. Jobs was not motivated by mere adventure.

“For me it was a serious search,” he said. “I’d been turned on to the idea of

enlightenment and trying to figure out who I was and how I fit into things.”

Kottke adds that Jobs’s quest seemed

driven partly by not

knowing his birth parents.

“There was a hole in him,

and he was trying to fill it.”

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s new main building. The work space was filled with

s new main building. The work space was filled with enough toys and radio-controlled model airplanes (Raskin’s passion) to make it look like a day care center for geeks. Every now and then work would cease for a loosely

organized game of Nerf ball tag. Andy Hertzfeld recalled, “This inspired everyone to surround their work area with barricades made out of cardboard, to provide cover during the game, making part of the office look like a cardboard maze.”

 

and I was very hungry.” As Jobs was eating, the holy man—who was

not much older than Jobs—picked him out of the crowd, pointed at him,

and began laughing maniacally. “He came running over and grabbed me

and made a tooting sound and said, ‘You are just like a baby,’” recalled Jobs.

“I was not relishing this attention.” Taking Jobs by the hand, he led him

out of the worshipful crowd and walked him up to a hill, where there was

a well and a small pond. “We sit down and he pulls out this straight razor.

I’m thinking he’s a nutcase and begin to worry. Then he pulls out a bar

of soap—I had long hair at the time—and he lathered up my hair and shaved

my head. He told me that he was saving my health.”

Daniel Kottke arrived in India at the beginning of the summer, and Jobs

went back to New Delhi to meet him. They wandered, mainly by bus, rather

aimlessly. By this point Jobs was no longer trying to find a guru who could impart

wisdom, but instead was seeking enlightenment through ascetic experience,

deprivation, and simplicity. He was not able to achieve inner calm.

Kottke remembers him getting into a furious shouting match with a

Hindu woman in a village marketplace who, Jobs alleged, had been

watering down the milk she was selling them.

Yet Jobs could also be generous. When they got to the town of Manali,

Kottke’s sleeping bag was stolen with his traveler’s checks in it.

“Steve covered my food expenses and bus ticket back to

Delhi,” Kottke recalled.

He also gave Kottke

the rest of his own money,

$100, to tide him over.

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Raskin envisioned a machine that wouldsell for

Raskin envisioned a machine that would sell for $1,000 and be a simple appliance, with screen and keyboard and computer all in one unit. To keep the cost down, he

proposed a tiny five-inch screen and a very cheap (and underpowered) microprocessor, the Motorola 6809. Raskin fancied himself a

philosopher, and he wrote his thoughts in an ever-expanding notebook that he called “The Book of Macintosh.” He also issued occasional manifestos. One of these was called “Computers by the Millions,” and it began with an aspiration: “If personal computers are to be truly personal, it will have to be as likely as not that a family, picked at random, will own one.”

 

to pick him up. They immediately drove up from Los Altos. “

My head had been shaved, I was wearing Indian cotton robes,

and my skin had turned a deep, chocolate brown-red from the sun,”

he recalled. “So I’m sitting there and my parents walked past me about

five times and finally my mother came up and said ‘Steve?’ and I said ‘Hi!’”

They took him back home, where he continued trying to find himself.

It was a pursuit with many paths toward enlightenment. In the mornings

and evenings he would meditate and study Zen, and in between he would

drop in to audit physics or engineering courses at Stanford.

The Search

Jobs’s interest in Eastern spirituality, Hinduism, Zen Buddhism,

and the search for enlightenment was not merely the passing phaseof a nineteen-year-old. Throughout his life he would seek to follow

many of the basic precepts of Eastern religions, such as the emphasis

on experiential praj?ā, wisdom or cognitive understanding that is intuitively

experienced through concentration of the mind. Years later, sitting in his

Palo Alto garden, he reflected on the lasting influence of his trip to India:

Coming back to America was, for me, much more of a cultural shock than

going to India. The people in the Indian countryside don’t use their intellect

like we do, they use their intuition instead, and their intuition is far more

developed than in the rest of the world. Intuition is a very powerful thing,

more powerful

than intellect, in my

opinion. That’s had

a big impact on my work.

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“When I went to school, it was right after the sixties

materialistic and careerist than his own. “When I went to school, it was right after the sixties and before this general wave of practical purposefulness had set in,” he said. “Now students aren’t even thinking in idealistic terms, or at

such as when Apple’s stock price would rise, which Jobs brushed off. Instead he spoke of his passion for future products, such as someday making a computer as small as a book. When the business questions tapered off, Jobs turned the tables on the well-groomed students. “How many of you are

virgins?” he asked. There were nervous giggles. “How many of you have taken LSD?” More nervous laughter, and only one or two hands went up. Later Jobs would complain about the new generation of kids, who seemed to him more

materialistic and careerist than his own. “When I went to school, it was right after the sixties and before this general wave of practical purposefulness had set in,” he said. “Now students aren’t even thinking in idealistic terms, or at

least nowhere near as much.” His generation, he said, was different. “The idealistic wind of the sixties is still at our backs, though, and most of the people I know who are my age have that ingrained in them forever.”

least nowhere near as much.” His generation, he said, was different. “The idealistic wind of the sixties is still at our backs, though, and most of the people I know who are my age have that ingrained in them forever.”

sit on zafu cushions, and he would sit on a dais,” she said. “We learned how

to tune out distractions. It was a magical thing. One evening we were

meditating with Kobun when it was raining, and he taught us how to use

ambient sounds to bring us back to focus on our meditation.”

As for Jobs, his devotion was intense. “He became really serious and

self-important and just generally unbearable,” according to Kottke.

He began meeting with Kobun almost daily, and every few months they

went on retreats together to meditate. “I ended up spending as much time as

I could with him,” Jobs recalled. “He had a wife who was a nurse at Stanford

and two kids. She worked the night shift, so I would go over and hang out

with him in the evenings. She would get home about midnight and shoo me away.”

They sometimes discussed whether Jobs should devote himself fully to spiritual

pursuits, but Kobun counseled otherwise. He assured Jobs that he could keep

in touch with his spiritual side while working in a business. The relationship turned

out to be lasting and deep; seventeen years later Kobun would perform

Jobs’s wedding ceremony.

Jobs’s compulsive search for self-awareness also led him to undergo

primal scream therapy, which had recently been developed and popularized

by a Los Angeles psychotherapist named Arthur Janov. It was based on the

Freudian theory that psychological problems are caused by the repressed

pains of childhood; Janov argued that they could be resolved by re-suffering

these primal moments while fully expressing the pain—sometimes in screams.

To Jobs, this seemed preferable to talk therapy because it involved intuitive

feeling and emotional action rather than just rational analyzing.

“This was not something to think about,” he later said. “This was something to do: to

 

close your eyes, hold

your breath, jump in,

and come out the

other end more insightful.”

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With Apple’s success came fame for its poster boy

With Apple’s success came fame for its poster boy.

Inc. became the first magazine to put him on its cover,

in October 1981. “This man has changed business forever,”

 

it proclaimed. It showed Jobs with a neatly trimmed

beard and well-styled long hair, wearing blue jeans and

a dress shirt with a blazer that was a little too satiny.

 

Jobs confided to close friends that he was driven by the pain he was feeling

about being put up for adoption and not knowing about his birth parents.

“Steve had a very profound desire to know his physical parents so he could

better know himself,” Friedland later said. He had learned from Paul and

Clara Jobs that his birth parents had both been graduate students at a university

and that his father might be Syrian. He had even thought about hiring

a private investigator, but he decided not to do so for the time being.

“I didn’t want to hurt my parents,” he recalled, referring to Paul and Clara.

“He was struggling with the fact that he had been adopted,” according to

Elizabeth Holmes. “He felt that it was an issue that he needed to get hold

of emotionally.” Jobs admitted as much to her. “This is something that is

bothering me, and I need to focus on it,” he said. He was even more open with

Greg Calhoun. “He was doing a lot of soul-searching about being adopted, and

he talked about it with me a lot,” Calhoun recalled. “The primal scream and the

mucusless diets, he was trying to cleanse himself and get deeper into his

frustration about his birth. He told me he was deeply angry about the

fact that he had been given up.”

John Lennon had undergone the same primal scream therapy in 1970,

and in December of that year he released the song “Mother” with the

Plastic Ono Band. It dealt with Lennon’s own feelings about a father who

had abandoned him and a mother who had been killed when he was a teenager.

The refrain includes

the haunting chant “

Mama don’t go, Daddy come

home.” Jobs used to

play the song often.

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He was leaning on an Apple II and looking directly into

He was leaning on an Apple II and looking directly into

the camera with the mesmerizing stare he had picked

up from Robert Friedland. “When Steve Jobs speaks,

 

it is with the gee-whiz enthusiasm of someone who

sees the future and is making sure it works,”

the magazine reported.

 

for a while. His confidence improved and his feelings of inadequacy were reduced.”

Jobs came to believe that he could impart that feeling of confidence

to others and thus push them to do things they hadn’t thought possible.

 

Holmes had broken up with Kottke and joined a religious cult in San

Francisco that expected her to sever ties with all past friends. But Jobs

rejected that injunction. He arrived at the cult house in his Ford Ranchero

 

one day and announced that he was driving up to Friedland’s apple farm

and she was to come. Even more brazenly, he said she would have to drive

part of the way, even though she didn’t know how to use the stick shift.

 

“Once we got on the open road, he made me get behind the wheel, and he

shifted the car until we got up to 55 miles per hour,” she recalled.

 

“Then he puts on a tape of Dylan’s Blood on the Tracks, lays his head

in my lap, and goes to sleep. He had the attitude that he could do anything,

and therefore so can you. He put his life in my hands. So that made me

 

do something I didn’t think I could do.”

It was the brighter side of what would become known as his reality

 

distortion field. “If you trust him, you can do things,” Holmes said.

“If he’s decided that something should happen,

 

then he’s just going to make it happen.”

Breakout

One day in early 1975 Al Alcorn was sitting in his office at Atari when Ron Wayne burst in.

“Hey, Stevie is back!”

he shouted.

“Wow, bring him on in,”

Alcorn replied.

sl1818.com

He had a great love for some material objects

He had a great love for some material objects,

especially those that were finely designed and

crafted, such as Porsche and Mercedes cars,

Henckels knives and Braun appliances, BMW

motorcycles and Ansel Adams prints,

 

B?sendorfer pianos and Bang & Olufsen audio

equipment. Yet the houses he lived in, no matter

how rich he became, tended not to be ostentatious

 

and were furnished so simply they would have put a

Shaker to shame. Neither then nor later would he

travel with an entourage, keep a personal staff,

 

or even have security protection. He bought a nice car,

but always drove himself. When Markkula asked Jobs

to join him in buying a Lear jet, he declined

 

(though he eventually would demand of Apple a Gulfstream to use).

Like his father, he could be flinty when bargaining with suppliers,

but he didn’t allow a craving for profits to take

precedence over his passion for building great products.

 

 

Morgan Stanley planned to price the offering at $18, even

though it was obvious the shares would quickly shoot up.

“Tell me what happens to this stock that we priced at eighteen?”

Jobs asked the bankers. “Don’t you sell it to your good customers?

 

If so, how can you charge me a 7% commission?” Hambrecht recognized

that there was a basic unfairness in the system, and he later went on to

formulate the idea of a reverse auction to price shares before an IPO.

 

Fernandez, Wigginton, and Espinosa. Everyone loved Wozniak,

all the more so after his generosity, but many also agreed with

Jobs that he was “awfully na?ve and childlike.” A few months later

a United Way poster showing a destitute man went up on a company

bulletin board. Someone scrawled on it “Woz in 1990.”

Wozniak, who was living in an apartment nearby and working at

HP, would come by after dinner to hang out and play the video games.

He had become addicted to Pong at a Sunnyvale bowling alley,

and he was able to build a version that he hooked up to his home TV set.

One day in the late summer of 1975, Nolan Bushnell, defying the

prevailing wisdom that paddle games were over, decided to develop

a single-player version of Pong; instead of competing against an

opponent, the player would volley the ball into a wall that lost a brick

whenever it was hit. He called Jobs into his office, sketched it out

on his little blackboard, and asked him to design it. There would be

a bonus, Bushnell told him, for every chip fewer than fifty that he used.

Bushnell knew that Jobs was not a great engineer, but he assumed, correctly,

that he would recruit Wozniak, who was always hanging around.

“I looked at it as a two-for-one thing,” Bushnell recalled. “Woz was a better engineer.”

Wozniak was thrilled when Jobs asked him to help and proposed splitting the fee.

“This was the most wonderful offer in my life, to actually design a game

that people would use,” he recalled. Jobs said it had to be done in four days

and with the fewest chips possible. What he hid from Wozniak was that the

deadline was one that Jobs had imposed, because he needed to get to the

All One Farm to help prepare for the apple harvest. He also didn’t

mention that there

was a bonus tied to

keeping down

the number of chips.

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according to Alcorn, “and this was Steve’sfirst impression

according to Alcorn, “and this was Steve’s

first impression of how things got done.

Nolan was never abusive, like Steve

 

sometimes is. But he had the same driven

attitude. It made me cringe, but dammit,

it got things done. In that way Nolan

was a mentor for Jobs.”

 

“I would rather let it pass,” he said when I pressed the point.

“It’s not something I want to judge Steve by.”

 

 

He confirmed his memory with Nolan

Bushnell and Al Alcorn. “I remember

talking about the bonus money to Woz,

 

and he was upset,” Bushnell said. “I said yes,

there was a bonus for each chip they saved,

and he just shook his head and

then clucked his tongue.”

 

In addition to their interest in computers,

they shared a passion for music.

“It was an incredible time for music,”

 

 

Jobs recalled. “It was like living at a time when

Beethoven and Mozart were alive. Really. People

will look back on it that way. And Woz and I were

 

deeply into it.” In particular, Wozniak turned Jobs

on to the glories of Bob Dylan.

 

“We tracked down this guy in Santa Cruz who put

out this newsletter on Dylan,” Jobs said. “Dylan

taped all of his concerts, and some of the people

 

around him were not scrupulous, because soon

there were tapes all around. Bootlegs of everything.

And this guy had them all.”

 

Hunting down Dylan tapes soon became a joint

venture. “The two of us would go tramping through

San Jose and Berkeley and ask about Dylan bootlegs

 

and collect them,” said Wozniak. “We’d buy brochures

of Dylan lyrics and stay up late interpreting them.

Dylan’s words struck chords of creative thinking.”

 

Added Jobs, “I had more than a hundred hours,

including every concert on the ’65 and ’66 tour,”

the one where Dylan went electric. Both of them

 

bought high-end TEAC reel-to-reel tape decks.

“I would use mine at a low speed to record many

concerts on one tape,” said Wozniak.

 

Jobs matched his obsession:

“Instead of big speakers I bought a pair

of awesome headphones and would just

 

lie in my bed and listen to that stuff for hours.”

Jobs had formed a club at Homestead High to

put on music-and-light shows and also play

 

pranks. (They once glued a gold-painted toilet

seat onto a flower planter.) It was called the

Buck Fry Club, a play on the name of the principal.

 

Even though they had already graduated, Wozniak

and his friend Allen Baum joined forces with Jobs,

at the end of his junior year, to produce a farewell

 

gesture for the departing seniors. Showing off the

Homestead campus four decades later, Jobs paused

at the scene of the escapade and pointed. “See that

 

balcony? That’s where we did the banner prank that

sealed our friendship.” On a big bedsheet Baum had

tie-dyed with the school’s green and white colors,

 

they painted a huge hand flipping the middle-finger

salute. Baum’s nice Jewish mother helped them draw

it and showed them how to do the shading and

 

shadows to make it look more real.

“I know what that is,” she snickered. They devised a

system of ropes and pulleys so that it could be

 

dramatically lowered as the graduating class

marched past the balcony, and they signed it

“SWAB JOB,” the initials of Wozniak and Baum

combined with part of Jobs’

s name. The prank
became part of school
lore—and got Jobs
suspended one more time.
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Kottke decided to press his case with Jobs by hovering

Kottke decided to press his case with Jobs by hovering

outside his office and catching him to make a plea. But at

each encounter, Jobs brushed him off. “What was really so

difficult for me is that Steve never told me I wasn’t eligible,”

 

recalled Kottke. “He owed me that as a friend. When I would

ask him about stock, he would tell me I had to talk to my manager.”

Finally, almost six months after the IPO, Kottke worked up the

 

courage to march into Jobs’s office and try to hash out the issue.

But when he got in to see him, Jobs was so cold that Kottke froze.

 

“I just got choked up and began to cry and just couldn’t talk to him,”

Kottke recalled. “Our friendship was all gone. It was so sad.”

 

By the end of December 1980, Apple would be valued at $1.79

billion. Yes, billion. In the process it would

make three hundred people millionaires.

 

Much of the work was done in the garage of a friend just around the corner,

Bill Fernandez, who was still at Homestead High. To lubricate their efforts, they drank large amounts of Cragmont cream

soda, riding their bikes to the Sunnyvale Safeway to return the bottles, collect the deposits, and buy more. “That’s how we started referring to it as the Cream Soda Computer,” Wozniak recalled.

It was basically a calculator capable of multiplying numbers entered by a set of switches and displaying the results in binary code with little lights.

When it was finished, Fernandez told Wozniak there was someone at Homestead High he should meet. “His name is Steve. He likes to do pranks like you do, and he’s also into building electronics like you are.” It may have been the most significant meeting in a Silicon Valley garage since Hewlett went into

Packard’s thirty-two years earlier. “Steve and I just sat on the sidewalk in front of Bill’s house for the longest time, just sharing stories—mostly about pranks we’d pulled, and also what kind of electronic designs we’d done,” Wozniak recalled. “We had so much in common. Typically, it was really hard for me to

explain to people what kind of design stuff I worked on, but Steve got it right away. And I liked him. He was kind of skinny and wiry and full of energy.” Jobs was also impressed. “Woz was the first

person I’d met who knew more electronics than I did,” he once said, stretching his own expertise. “I liked him right away. I was a little more mature than my years, and he was a little less
mature than his, so it
evened out. Woz was
very bright, but
emotionally he was my age.”
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Rod Holt, the engineer who had built the power supply,

Rod Holt, the engineer who had built the power supply,

was getting a lot of options, and he tried to turn Jobs around.

“We have to do something for your buddy Daniel,” he said, and

 

he suggested they each give him some of their own options.

“Whatever you give him, I will match it,” said Holt. Replied Jobs,

“Okay. I will give him zero.”

 

so I didn’t push,” said Kottke. The official reason he wasn’t given

stock options was that he was an hourly technician, not a salaried

engineer, which was the cutoff level for options. Even so, he could

 

have justifiably been given “founder’s stock,” but Jobs decided not to.

“Steve is the opposite of loyal,” according to Andy Hertz-feld, an early

Apple engineer who has nevertheless remained friends with him.

“He’s anti-loyal. He has to abandon the people he is close to.”

 

a breadboard. “While Steve was breadboarding, I spent time playing my

favorite game ever, which was the auto racing game Gran Trak 10,” Wozniak said.

Astonishingly, they were able to get the job done in four days, and

Wozniak used only forty-five chips. Recollections differ, but by most

accounts Jobs simply gave Wozniak half of the base fee and not the bonus

Bushnell paid for saving five chips. It would be another ten years before

Wozniak discovered (by being shown the tale in a book on the history of

Atari titled Zap) that Jobs had been paid this bonus. “I think that Steve needed

the money, and he just didn’t tell me the truth,” Wozniak later said.

When he talks about it now, there are long pauses, and he admits that it

causes him pain. “I wish he had just been honest. If he had told me he

needed the money, he should have known I would have just given it to

him. He was a friend. You help your friends.” To Wozniak, it showed

a fundamental difference in their characters. “Ethics always mattered to me,

and I still don’t understand why he would’ve gotten paid one thing and told

me he’d gotten paid another,” he said. “But, you know, people are different.”

When Jobs learned this story was published, he called Wozniak to deny it.

“He told me that he didn’t remember doing it, and that if he did something

like that he would remember it, so he probably didn’t do it,” Wozniak recalled.

When I asked Jobs directly, he became unusually quiet and hesitant.

“I don’t know where that allegation comes from,” he said. “I gave him

half the money I ever got. That’s how I’ve always been with Woz. I mean,

Woz stopped working in 1978. He never did one ounce

of work after 1978.

And yet he got exactly

the same shares of

Apple stock that I did.”

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